Skirv, Program Advisor in Exile

Program Advisors are the people in Allen that organize people and set up programs to keep the hall's spirit alive. For me, they were the people that gave me an idea that Allen was something special; for the first few years of living there, I considered them mentors, and I wasn't alone in that. Because of people like Dave Pinzino and Chris Kozlowski, I enjoyed Allen, even if I didn't really see them much in their official roles.

Around November of 1996, I saw Hamish wondering whether or not he should become a PA. Hamish was a good guy, one of the first people I met in Allen, and I kindof thought that it would be a good idea; he was counseled to by some of my friends, and so he applied. He was accepted for the position in March of the next year. And, in retrospect, I would have gotten it too, if I had thought to apply then.

The next year, I did apply. I came in to the interview with more credentials than I would have ever dreamed imaginable when I came to Allen - dozens of programs to my name, a few groups that I was in charge of, a few old PA responsibilities (like <FISH>< House), and an actual desire to make things better.

I didn't get the job.

Rarely in my life do I honestly feel that I'm entitled to anything. This was one of them - rightly or not, I believed that I was the best candidate for the job, better than any two of the people that did finally get the job. Sure, Hamish was still there, but Christina's main qualification was that her brother had been a PA, and the only time I had even seen Milton in the previous year was at a Coffeehouse... I knew the reasons that I'd been cut, though - they needed more females (which I am not), and they were fairly sure they couldn't control me (true, and it may have even been a fair reason to cut me, but I don't have to like it).

So, what did the world have? A bitter Skirv that was convinced that he could do a better job than the PAs in his sleep. Such cases usually lead to mischief, and this time was no different - I chose to run for Hall Council as Internal Vice President (having already changed the constitution to make the IVP into the Unit One rep - ie, the guy that plays with the PAs), got myself put in charge of setting up various programs for Orientation, and declared myself a Program Advisor In Exile. And so the war began.

It actually started extremely poorly. Thanks to some end-of-the-year fighting with Christina Cutri over a poster in the commons (we thought it was a space for comments, she said that it just wasn't done yet, things escalated) and some fights with the new RD, all of the programs I had set up for the beginning of the year were cancelled out of hand. That included an Open Doors, a Street Dance, a Like Disco show, a <FISH>< House, a regression night, and one other that I forget now. Needless to say, I was ticked off...

That wasn't the end of it, of course. <FISH>< House was delayed and cancelled more times than I want to admit; the weekly South Park showings were curtailed, as was Babylon 5; Disco rehearsals were removed from the Main Lounge, and space reservations were always difficult to schedule. I attempted to go to the Unit One meetings anyway, but they were eventually rescheduled without notice to a time when I had class. I attempted to make my programs happen anyway, but was almost always met with resistance from the current PAs (Christina specifically). It became hell to try to do things...

And yet, there were victories. Disco survived and prospered, even when we had to move all the time; the Street Dance eventually happened and ruled beyond all belief. A couple of times I still got the chance to put on programs that the PAs had messed up; the best was when I had an identical movie showing to theirs on another night and got 15 people to show up, without advertising, after they hadn't gotten anybody to come at all. I also managed to put on a barbeque pretty much on my own (help was received in cooking, cleaning, and emergency supply runs from many of my friends). I did good. And, at the end, I was even surrendered to by the PAs for the last <FISH>< House...

It was a year of self-styled persecution and oppression, done in the name of helping a dorm that I still care about and a spirit that I still possess. It hurt going in, it hurt doing it, and it hurt stopping. But now it's done, and I can look back on it as one of the times I can be proud of in my life - because I did do what was right, even though the obvious answer was "screw this, I'm outta here". I'm not sure how much good I really did, but I did try, and I had a lot of fun even as I was suffering...