Jenny

Jenny and I dated for slightly over five months, from 20 Aug 1998 to 10 Feb 1999. She was my first girlfriend, and somehow we've managed to stay friends even after I was silly/stupid enough to let her go.

First Meeting and Courtship

I first met Jenny through my friend Eva as part of the Eva Gang. She was a childhood friend of Eva's, because their parents had both run Chinese restaurants in upstate Illinois; she came to the dorm a year after us, and quickly befriended the whole bunch. My first impression was that she was an insanely cheerful, happy person that knew her stuff and was ambitious enough to go somewhere... These traits are, of course, rare.

For a long time, we were just friends - we talked and argued and all that, we were in our Improv Troupe together, and were silly together, staying up all night in large packs just for the hell of it... This lasted for nearly 1.5 years, until another girl, Rosie, began to express interest in me. Rosie and I nearly had a fling, but we stopped just before anything actually happened - but it apparently gave Jenny pause.

The next semester (2nd semester junior year) we spent more time together. Around the end of it, we were quietly holding hands while watching movies together, and spending lots of time in the park together... But she was leaving for the summer, and my roommates were angry at me for not spending time doing things like, oh, cleaning the room for move out. So we didn't take the final plunge and say "let's try this out" - instead, we just sent letters (snailmail!) back and forth for the summer, and eagerly awaited each others' return to our lives...

Last modified: Sunday, 28-Jul-2002 05:29:26 PDT

The Relationship

Jenny and I began dating on 20 Aug 1998. We decided to do it in the Wall-less Lounge in Allen Hall, where I was still living (Jenny had moved in with Caitte by this point, in an apartment on North Campus); we also agreed that we weren't going to let our friendship suffer from it even if we did break up. And so we went for it...

It was an amazing thing, having a girlfriend for the first time. It took a while work up to our first kiss and all that (it was during Gattaca, in the Quad), but it was a whole lot of fun. Neither of us made much money, so we stayed in a lot; we started spending a lot of time together at her place, at mine, in the arboretum, whatever.

My understanding of the matter is that we were horribly cute together. Certainly, the romance was a bit odd; I'm no good at it, but Jenny was great at it (she'd leave little notes and rose petals in the books I was reading, for instance). Caitte and the others made fun of us quite often, and everyone was pretty cheerful about it... Come New Years, I even made my way up to her parents' place for a few days, and stayed there - only to return to C-U with pneumonia, but the trip still seemed worth the effort.

Last modified: Thursday, 27-Jun-2002 07:42:29 PDT

Break-Up and Aftermath

There were two fundamental problems with my relationship with Jenny:

Neither was much of an excuse, in retrospect. But...well, I was young, and stupid, and unaware of how much damage I could do. And so, one Tuesday afternoon after Disco rehearsal, I broke up with her so I could concentrate on everything else, justifying it to myself because a) we promised we'd stay friends and b) I would have more time to spend on other things.

Of course, the truth was that it was easy for me to stay friends with her - I had broken up with her, after all. But Jenny - well, Jenny is a strong girl. After a few weeks of what was probably hell for her, she came around and talked to me again. She even gave me moral support as Andrea tried to break up my floor... just one of many things that ensured that I didn't *really* have more time to spend on my schoolwork.

Last modified: Thursday, 27-Jun-2002 07:50:20 PDT

Current Status

Jenny is just now finishing Pharmacy school - or, at least, she's finished her coursework and is now doing her internship-equivalents. I see her a few times a year, and exchange emails fairly often. She contacts me when she comes into town. She helps me take care of our mutual friends. And I'm sure she knows that I'd do just about anything for her if she asked.

In retrospect, I'm really impressed that she stayed so close. Having gone through an evil breakup, I know how tough it is... Her kindness to me after it all still inspires me, to be honest (while at the same time, offering a concrete example of how I can be a jerk). And I'm still proud of her, the first of my friends to have their doctorate (less than a year now).

Last modified: Thursday, 27-Jun-2002 07:54:31 PDT